"Gaston" is a song sung by Trixie, Gaston, Vanitas, Sunset Shimmer, Eddy, and Bulk Biceps during Gaston's party. It was sung for both to serve as entertainment for Gaston's guests, as well as to boast on how great Gaston and his friends think he is.
Trixie: Gosh it pleases me to see you, Gaston
Looking so good for tonight
Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
Each one gazing at your might
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're everyone's favorite guy
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why!
No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's
For there's no man in town half as manly!
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!
Vanitas: No one's been like Gaston
A king pin like Gaston
Trixie No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
Gaston: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
Trixie, Vanitas, and Sunset Shimmer: My what a guy, that Gaston!
Give five "hurrahs!" Give twelve "hip-hips!"
Eddy: Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips!
Trixie, Vanitas, and Sunset Shimmer: No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
Eddy: In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!
Trixie and Sunset Shimmer: For there's no one as burly and brawny
Gaston: As you see, I've got biceps to spare
Trixie: Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny
Gaston: That's right!
And every last inch of me's covered with hair!
Trixie, Sunset Shimmer, and Vanitas: No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
Trixie: In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
Gaston: I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptoooie!
Trixie, Vanitas, and Sunset Shimmer: Ten points for Gaston!
Gaston: When I was a lad I ate four burritos
Ev'ry morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat eight burritos So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
Trixie, Vanitas, and Sunset Shimmer: No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston
Trixie: Then goes tromping around
Wearing boots like Gaston!
Gaston: I use antlers in all of my decorating!
Trixie, Vanitas, and Sunset Shimmer: Say it again!
Who's a man among men?
And then say it once more
Who's that hero next door?
Who's a super success?
Don't you know? Can't you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There's just one guy in town
Who's got all of it down...
Bulk Biceps: And his name's G-A-S... T...
G-A-S-T-O... ohh, ow...
Trixie, Vanitas, and Sunset Shimmer: GASTON!!!
- The song itself is a parody of the song Gaston from the 1991 animated classic, Beauty and the Beast, modified to fit the modern-day setting of High School Days.
- The song was based on the soundtrack version of the original song due to the fact only the soundtrack version had an instrumental version available.